how can u be prego again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize