you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
