I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
