butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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