You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize