Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
