and next time when you feel me up, do it right
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
