worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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