: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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