I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
