I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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