oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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