Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is Oprah even human
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize