Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
