You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
be right there i have to get my cape
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
