Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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