So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
