problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
