so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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