fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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