i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
