Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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