Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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