I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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