Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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