Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
