We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
