it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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