I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
