I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
