weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
