I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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