Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
