I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
