Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
