Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
