We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
