Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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