Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
