i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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