Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
