I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize