It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize