Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
