my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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