ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
