So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize