She's JV to your varsity
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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