I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Come share oat with me in your robe
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
