Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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