Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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