3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
