At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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