Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
