Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
