i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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