Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
