can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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