Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize