Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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