New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm always down for nudity.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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