So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize