Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
