i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
