You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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