don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
