At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
