now i know why i became what i already was.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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