In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
