omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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