Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
