You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
