Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I AM VODKA MAN
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
