She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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